It’s not an easy thing, sending your baby into the world. I just recently had to do it for the second time. All of the emotions, excitement, and sadness that I felt when I sent my oldest to school all came flooding back when my middle daughter started kindergarten.
Here I was again, a sleepless night before Kindergarten starts. I can’t help but lay awake and think about our time together. It seems like just yesterday I was being wheeled into the delivery room to meet you for the first time. They handed you to me, and from that moment on I haven’t let you go. Then you grew and with each passing year I realized you were becoming more independent and the time was approaching when I would drop you off for your first day of school.
As I lay awake remembering the first time you walked and talked, suddenly a panic rushes over me. Wait! I can’t do this. Your teachers won’t know that you need no less than 14 hugs before lunch. They won’t know what you mean when you say you want Elsa hair (a braid like Elsa on Frozen). I haven’t talked to you enough about bullies, maybe I’m a bad mom for not better preparing you. What if you get scared, what if you need me and you feel like I have abandoned you because I’m not there? YES MOMS…WE ALL DO IT! We worry, stress, play the what-if game, and completely lose our minds the night before we send our little ones off to school. I assure you, this is perfectly normal and expected.
The morning will come and you will wake up your excited and nervous school kid. You will try your best to force a smile. You won’t let them see your heart breaking because today is a BIG step in their lives and you have always been there to love and support them, today is no different. You might appear a bit clingy because you hug them all the way to the breakfast table, you over-do it with some elaborate breakfast of their choice. All of these little services are for you as much as they are for them. That’s okay mom, you do whatever it is you need to do.
Now it’s time to drop them off, this is the moment you have been dreading more than all others. The final kiss, the final hug, and the squeeze of their little hand. They might cling to you or they may be so excited that they walk off without saying good-bye (I’m not sure which is worst) but however it happens, this is a HUGE moment for the both of you. They are starting their long school career and you are learning how to let them go.
When you drive away you might shed a few tears, you might call your mom, sister, or a good friend and hope that they can comfort you. However, let me reassure you that there will come a moment when you will realize that the worst is over, you did it, and you are going to be okay. The house might be a little quieter, mornings a little busier, and schedules more chaotic, but it is all something you can handle. Remember holding your baby for the first time, feeling that overwhelming doubt that maybe you are not capable of doing this? Remember when they were 3 and fell of the bed? You rushed them to the ER wondering if you could handle it. No matter what comes up in our lives, as moms, we just do it, we just make it, we survive. Motherhood changes us. It gives us the ability to cope and endure. So, Kindergarten Moms, you are going to be okay. You always have been and you always will be.
BECAUSE YOU ARE A MOM!